Work Ethic

A work ethic is developed long before our kids fill out thier first job application. It begins when they are taught to clean up their toys when they are a toddler, when they learn to wait their turn in preschool, and when they are taught that attendance in school is just as important as their academics. It is learned when you become part of a sports team or a girl scout troop and have to interact and cooperate with others. Parents don't realize it but they are often their child's greatest influence when it comes to their work ethic. It doesn't matter if you are born into wealth or poverty. It is important to teach our children that they should work hard for things whether it be grades, athletics, or material things they should do their best and take pride in their labor because that is true accomplishment. We don't realize it but if we moan and groan about our job, or boast about how much money we make our children are listening. They see how we value our job and what our work attitude is and somehow it creeps into the very fiber of their being. Today we have a tendency to want our children to have so much more than we did and often times we  'over compensate' in helping them to acquire abundance.  We not only help them with their homework - we DO IT FOR THEM, if they don't feel like doing something like pick up after themselves - WE DO IT FOR THEM, if they don't take the time to make sure they have all of their belongings, school books, sports equipment  and something is forgotten- we drop what we are doing and RUN IT TO THEM,  if they break, misplace, destroy or loose their cell phone, ipad, ipod - we just buy them a NEW one, if they don't feel like going to school - We call them off SICK and then let them play on xbox all  day, and what is even more sad is, when our child is disciplined in school - we blame someone else, we challenge the teacher or we make excuses. Obviously, we overcompensate out of love and with good intentions, but as the saying goes - the road to hell is paved with good intentions. What are we teaching our children today. What kind of work ethic are we instilling in our children. They are learning that they can have whatever they want regardless of the cost, at any price, whenever they want it without any consequence. It seems more and more that we are eliminating words from our vocabularly like NO, work for it, you're grounded, you did wrong......our children are not really experiencing life in the truest sense - which includes the good and the BAD. They don't learn to do without, they don't learn disappointment, they don't learn to face challenges, they don't learn that not everybody is a winner but that's okay, they don't learn that sometimes life isn't fair but you have to go on and endure. What an injustice. No wonder we have so many suicides and shootings amoung our youth today.  They don't know what to do if they don't get what they want and things don't go their way. Our  'over compensation' has sheltered them and ultimately prevented them from developing the coping skills and work ethic necessary to face adversity and difficulty, to prosper and grow and find their way independently.  I think its time for parents to think about how important that WORK ETHIC really is and how early on it begins to develop.

A Fav Quote one of many

Often people attempt to live ther lives backwards, they try to have more things, or more money , in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.
The way it actually works is the reverse, you must first be who you really are,
then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Missing them more than they miss you

My 9 year old, Zachaeus went away with my sister and brother-in-law and their son this weekend to a cabin in Willsboro. He loves the outdoors fishing and hunting. He was gone since Thursday, 5 nights and 5 and a half days. The house was so quiet and still. I was so bored I actually cleaned just for something to do. He had a great time and I hardly think he even noticed he wasn't at home. I, on the other hand, felt so out-of-sorts. Up until the last year or so we have never been away from each other for more than one night. I was always the kind of mom who would rarely go out  or be away from my children other than going to work from 8 am to 4pm Mon-Fri and that was only out of necessity. I believe kids grow up so fast and you should savour every moment you can with them. There's plenty of time for coming and going when they grow up. As a parent you have to sacrafice your own self indulgences to put your children first and that is the committment you make from the very moment of conception. You do begin to realize though, as your child begins to spread his wings and become more independent , that there will come a day that you are no longer the center of their world as they are yours. This is beginning to emerge with my baby now. He wants to be with his friends and spend less time with mommy. He doesn't need to hold my hand when crossing the street or while in a shopping mall. He has graduated from a calling me mommy to mom and his signs of affection are limited to the privacy of home now. The 'I love you more..." challenges have dwindled and I find every opportunity to grasp for cuddle time and hugs and kisses whenever I can. As fascinating and rewarding as it is to watch my youngest son grow up it is equally bittersweet. Although I went through this all with my oldest son who is now 19, I somehow found consolation in knowing I still had my baby boy at home. Now I have to face this again  but this time there is no consolation, this is it, my boys will be grown up and I will have to fill the void that is created by this. It is so hard to truly describe how this feels. For the last 19 years my whole life was consumed and so full of my children. Everything I did was motivated by motherly love for them. My friends, my activities, my pleasure, my day to day existence revolved around them. Now I will have to rebuild my life to fill that purpose with a new direction. And though I would love nothing more than to always remain the center of their world, I cannot be selfish. I have to let them fly and be their own person and have their own life and know that even if I am not the center of their life, deep down inside me, they will always be the center of mine. And that is how I know that as each day passes and they grow up I am missing them more than they miss me.

Today is My very First Blog.

Today is Presidents Day, February 21, 2011 and I decided to finally enter the world of Blogging. Better late than never right. I only hope that I can combine my emotion passions and my skill for expressing them in written form in a manner that is tactful and considerate and not offensive to others but that is not likely.  I often tend to be very blunt and direct. Although since this is MY very own space if someone is offended then they need not follow right. Too bad you don't get your very own personal editor not only to correct grammar, punctuation and spelling, but also to warn you when lanuage sounds offensive or  harmful LOL!!!!! I will try to monitor myself.  This is like a jounal or personal diary of sorts except you have to try to remember that other people can read it. And so...I am off...to a new, challenging and exciting world of sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings........here goes......